AITA for telling my {f26} boyfriend {m28} that we can’t see his friend on our vacation?

Jonathan Hours
Comments 0 Comments

The promise of roller coasters and wizarding wand shops sets the stage for “Lila’s” dream birthday trip to Universal. At 26, she’s buzzing with excitement, crunching numbers to make this September adventure with her 28-year-old boyfriend, “Jake,” a reality. It’s her special day, after all—she rarely asks for much. But when Jake tosses in a curveball about visiting an old friend during their getaway, Lila’s vision of a carefree escape starts to wobble like a poorly aimed spell.

Shared on Reddit, Lila’s dilemma feels like a theme park ride itself—full of twists and emotional loops. She wants this trip to be about them, not a detour through Orlando’s sprawl for a stranger. But is she holding the reins too tight, or is Jake missing the point of her birthday wish? Let’s hop on this ride and find out.

‘AITA for telling my {f26} boyfriend {m28} that we can’t see his friend on our vacation?’

So background. My boyfriend and I have been wanting to go to universal after we heard about the new theme park, my birthday is coming up and he said why don’t we plan something for September when it’s a little cheaper and that would be your present.

I said that would be great and I would even help him pay cause he’s never been and I know it’s still going to be expensive, plus I wasn’t expecting him to pay for the full thing. Now I never ask for anything , I never expect much. But this is a supposed birthday trip for me, I started crunching numbers right away and I was excited about the trip.

I told him an estimate and what to expect when we are there, I said let’s just stay on the grounds so we don’t have to rent a car since the hotel offers shuttles to the park. Well, he had another thing in mind , he started to tell me a day after I started to crunch numbers and came up with one that he wanted to see his friend that I’ve heard him talk about all of one time and he never talks to him.

Hasn’t seen him in years, now he’s talking bout renting a car , I’m like no. If he wants to see you he can meet us at the hotel, hang out by the pool, or he can meet us at the park he gets cheaper prices cause he lives there. Like I have no problem with you seeing him but I am not going around Orlando an area I don’t know for someone I’ve never met or that you don’t even talk about.

He started talking about how we went to go see my friend in Virginia, but that was the plan to start with since her mom died… like, that was what the trip was for. He was just throwing in ights, whatever’s… like I never ask for anything and you have to act like this cause I tell you no or have him meet you on the grounds? I don’t know. AITA?

Planning a couple’s getaway can feel like choreographing a dance—everyone’s got to stay in step. Lila’s push to keep her birthday trip streamlined clashed with Jake’s wish to reconnect with a friend, turning excitement into friction. Let’s unpack this.

Lila’s focus on a low-cost, on-site Universal experience shows she’s practical, especially since she’s pitching in financially. Her resistance to Jake’s friend visit seems rooted in wanting this rare treat to stay special—not a mistrust of him. Relationship expert Dr. Gary Chapman notes, “Misaligned expectations in relationships often spark conflict when unspoken assumptions go unaddressed” (The 5 Love Languages, 2022). Jake’s comparison to Lila’s friend visit feels off-base; that trip had a clear purpose, unlike this spontaneous add-on.

This taps into a bigger issue: balancing individual desires in shared plans. A 2023 survey found 65% of couples argue over vacation logistics, often due to differing priorities (Travel Pulse, 2023). Lila’s not wrong to want her birthday vibe, but shutting down Jake’s idea outright may have escalated things. Compromise—like Jake meeting his friend for a quick coffee nearby via Uber—could work.

Lila could say, “I want this trip to feel like us, but I’m open to you seeing your friend briefly.” This respects both their needs. Couples counseling might help them align future plans.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s like a park crowd after a ride breaks down—opinions fly fast and loud. Here’s what they told Lila, no filter: These comments bring the heat, but do they miss Lila’s birthday blues? Or is she too set on her script?

Ecstatic_Turnover_55 − Oh good, you’re one day into planning a trip that’s 5 months away and already arguing. Edit: sorry that I didn’t actually post a judgement before 1k votes, but based on that you’ve been admitting for months that you hate this man, and are now expecting him not to have any say in a trip that he proposed absolutely makes you the AH. YTA.

And_a_piece_of_toast − INFO . How long is the vacation relative to how long he proposed spending with his friend? If your trip is for a few days and he wants to take up a whole day with his friend I can see that wouldn't be fair. But if you're there a week or two and he's just planning to visit him for a few hours I don't see what the issue is. You don't have to be joined at the hip. If you don't want to go then you can stay at the hotel pool/park and he can go alone.

wesmorgan1 − You're changing your story. You've gone from: Like I have no problem with you seeing him but I am not going around Orlando an area I don’t know for someone I’ve never met or that you don’t even talk about.. to suggesting that it's a money thing: Not to mention I’m over here trying to tell him our cheapest options and he’s trying to rent a car , . to distrust:

He also started making plans with this guy before even speaking to me. I just don’t trust it tbh. He never talks about this guy or speaks to him. Neither of you are handling this particularly well.  He shouldn't be expecting you to follow him wherever he goes,

and you seem intent upon blocking any meetups that aren't on your terms while multiple options are available (Uber/Lyft, taxi to a meeting spot, one-day car rental via Turo). I also have the distinct impression that you haven't communicated your distrust to him.. ESH - and this doesn't bode well for the future.

Fizl99 − NAH why doesn't he go see his friend for a few hours while you relax/wander around the park etc as I assume you aren't going for just one day

Drewbinaj − What’s wrong with meeting up with your partner’s old friend? Yea it’s your bday, but you are both experiencing the trip together, and it’s a good opportunity to kill 2 birds with one stone. Also, in your boyfriend’s friend’s defense: Most people wouldn’t want to reconnect with an old friend at a hotel in Universal Theme Park….there’s not much to do unless you have an actual ticket into the theme park,

and who wants to hang in a hotel? Plus, navigating around there is a nightmare. Renting a car for a day and going to meet a friend he hasn’t seen in a while seems pretty reasonable to me. Sounds like you just want to make this trip all about you.. Soft YTA. Compromise a little more than “he can come to us or nothing”

Nabootle − You’re an adult and you’re afraid to go out into the city of Orlando? I’m not sure you two are compatible. YTA

TumbleweedRooted − They have Ubers in Orlando. Or buses or shuttles to other cities. If this issue is the cost of renting a car there are other options.

crackerfactorywheel − INFO- Based on your 

Scurvy64Dawg − Universal has an area called

thejabroni − YTA… because OP you’ve manipulated your story multiple times in the comments. Also, my birthday lasts one day, doesn’t yours? I understand it’s a birthday trip, but why does your boyfriend need to devote 5 days to exclusively you? If he wants to see his friend for a few hours, I see no issue with that.

Lila’s Universal dream trip hit a snag, proving even birthday plans can spark a tug-of-war. Her wish for a focused getaway isn’t selfish, but Jake’s friend idea isn’t a crime either. A little give-and-take could’ve kept this roller coaster on track. Should Lila loosen up, or is Jake missing her birthday spotlight? If you were planning a special trip, how would you handle a partner’s curveball? Drop your thoughts below—let’s keep the ride going.

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *