AITA for not giving my estranged father’s wife the money he sent me?

In a cozy living room filled with the soft patter of paws, a woman’s heart sank as her sister’s words turned cold. Her golden retriever, Benny, a bundle of loyalty, became an unexpected casualty in the glow of her sister’s new motherhood. What started as a celebration of a “miracle baby” twisted into a clash of values, where a dog’s gentle presence was deemed a threat, and a sister’s trust was locked away like an afterthought.

When the woman drew a line—refusing to babysit after her sister’s shocking neglect of Benny—the family group chat lit up with accusations. Shared on Reddit, her story crackles with the sting of betrayal and the weight of standing firm. It’s a tale that nudges us to wonder: how do you balance family ties when love for a pet is dismissed? Let’s unpack this furry fiasco.

‘AITA for not giving my estranged father’s wife the money he sent me?’

My father wasn't in my (21f) life growing up. He left mom and me when I was 2 and refused to pay child support. He quit his job when he was tracked down for support and he spent time in jail rather than pay. Eventually mom stopped fighting because it was going nowhere.

She felt like it was wasting resources chasing after him when it was obvious he was going to avoid it however he could. A couple of years ago he moved about an hour away and I saw him for the first time since a court appearance when I was 8. We didn't speak either of those times but it surprised me that he came back.

I found out he was married and had more kids from my paternal aunt. He'd reached out to her and wanted to reconnect and she told him where to go. She was always pretty disgusted he walked away like he did and refused to support me financially. In December my aunt told me he went to her house and left something for me there.

I asked her what it was and she had no idea but she said it was in an envelope. I opened it and it was a check. And it was a big one too. I tried giving it to my mom but she told me to keep it and he owed me. That he abandoned me. And it was the least I deserved. I tried telling her she deserved it more but she wouldn't even entertain the idea.

So after confirming it was legit I lodged it into my account. Then his wife came looking for the money by going to my aunt's house for me. My aunt made her leave and I wasn't even there but she showed up a few days later when I was there and she demanded the money. She said it was money that was meant to go on her kids.

That he had no right to drain their accounts for me. I told her it wasn't my problem and my aunt threatened to call the cops. She showed up at my aunts house again a few days after and my aunt followed through and called the cops. But apparently this woman left the message that I was selfish and entitled and I stole it from her kids.. AITA?

Pets can be family, but not everyone sees them that way, as this Reddit drama shows. A woman’s refusal to babysit her sister’s baby after her dog was mistreated feels like a stand for loyalty—both to her pet and herself. Her sister’s actions, from banishing Benny to neglecting him, scream new-parent jitters gone too far, while the woman’s boundary sets a firm line.

The sister’s fear of Benny disrupting her baby clashed with the woman’s view of him as kin. Dr. Stanley Coren, a canine behavior expert, notes, “Dogs thrive on trust; neglect erodes their security”. Locking Benny away likely left lasting fear, mirroring the woman’s shaken trust in her sister.

This taps a bigger issue: pets in family dynamics. A 2021 ASPCA survey found 65% of pet owners see their animals as family, yet tensions rise when others don’t. The sister’s entitlement to childcare ignores her wrong, a common overstep in new parenthood.

Dr. Coren suggests clear communication about pets’ roles early on. The woman could offer supervised visits to rebuild ties, but babysitting’s off the table until trust returns. Readers, ever had a pet spark family drama? Share your thoughts below.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s pack pounced on this tale like dogs on a squeaky toy, churning out a lively mix of barks and growls. It’s like a pet parade where everyone’s waving a flag for Benny or tossing shade at the sister’s nerve. From cheers for the woman’s backbone to gasps at the laundry-room lockup, these takes are as spirited as a puppy chase. Here’s the crowd’s unleashed vibe:

Mother_Search3350 − You stole nothing. Her kids have beeeen supported by that deadbeat all their lives as she DGAF whether you were dead or alive or if you had food to eat or clothes to wear.. That's all the back child support that deadbeat owes you like your mom said.

You are entitled to that money and did not steal anything from anyone. . Keep calling the cops every time she shows up. . She chose to marry and have kids with a deadbeat who ghosted his own child for 19 years. . Karma has finally found her address. . NTAH 

Dschingis_Khaaaaan − NTA - If she had a legitimate claim to the money she could make it through the courts.  She’s harassing you because she probably doesn’t.  Save the money for your future, he gave it to you so it belongs to you. 

Material_Cellist4133 − NTA. This is the child support he owes you. He was a deadbeat that didn’t pay child support. This money was the child support he missed.. She can take it up with her husband. You did nothing wrong. Also, don’t you dare give that money back. You deserve that money

Patient_Meaning_2751 − Don’t respond to this woman at all. If she continues to pester you about it, get a restraining order. You owe her nothing.

Paxis001 − “I found out he was married and had more kids from my paternal aunt.”. I totally misinterpreted this sentence and thought this story was going in a really weird direction.

RasilBathbone − NTA. Not your monkey, not your circus. Your absent dad is definitely TA for you, and it seems like he's being TA to his current family as well. But you are no less entitled to that money than they are, and his current wife isn't entitled to harass you or his sister over an issue she has with him. You aunt was right to involve the police, and she should do it again if it happens again. Take your mom out for a nice dinner, and then use the money in whatever way is best for you.

forgetregret1day − If she has a problem with it, tell her to go track down the deadbeat that gave it to you, but if she doesn’t stop harassing you and your family members, you’ll file a restraining order against her. She’s nothing to you and you owe her nothing, certainly not your peace of mind or the money he chose to give you.

Make sure your bank account is secured and password protected as well as your credit history. There’s no telling what crazy people will try when it comes to money. It’s yours, freely given, and she can pound sand if she doesn’t like it. NTA. Stay strong.

spacemouse21 − NTA. I have no idea nor do you what the dynamic is between him and his wife.. I have no idea nor do you how much money is really going to her and the kids.. Take him at his word the money was earmarked for you and mom, so it’s your money that’s it.. No idea if she’s just trying to rip you and your mom off.

Move along nothing to see here. Unless you want to reach out to him and ask him directly, which actually would be the thing to do. is he really trying to make amends? Is he on the outs with his current family and just trying to get back in touch and in your good graces?. But that’s your choice if you wanna find out or just enjoy the money.

bino0526 − Definitely NTA.. Document the harrassment. Get the police reports to show the times that the police have been called on her.. If you are approached anywhere, record and call the police. Accepting the money is not wrong.

It's owed to you for all of the years that you and your mom were financially neglected by your sperm donor. Don't be guilted or bullied by anyone into thinking that you are taking something from the other kids. That's not your problem or responsibility.. Girl, take the money and run‼️🏃‍♀️. Updateme

Cybermagetx − Nta. You didnt steal anything. It was a gift.

These Redditors are fetching some bold opinions, rallying for Benny’s defender or sniffing out the sister’s gall. Some call for animal cruelty reports; others say “no” is enough. But do these howls catch the full scent of the story, or are they just chasing drama’s tail? One thing’s certain—this doggy dilemma’s got Reddit wagging. What’s your take?

This furry feud reminds us that family isn’t just blood—it’s the bonds we choose, like the one between a woman and her dog. Her refusal to babysit wasn’t petty; it was a howl for respect after her sister treated Benny like a nuisance. Reddit’s cheering squad backs her, but the real lesson? Trust, once chewed up, takes time to mend. If a loved one crossed your pet, how would you handle the fallout? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the convo barking.

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *