AITA for embarrassing my parents for forgetting my birthday?

Jonathan Hours
Comments 0 Comments

Birthdays are supposed to sprinkle a little joy, but for one woman, her 33rd spun into a family fiasco faster than you can blow out a candle. With her family fresh off a 22-day trip for her grandfather’s funeral, she wasn’t expecting a grand bash—just a simple “happy birthday” would’ve done. Instead, the day slipped by unnoticed, leaving her to celebrate with her boyfriend and friends. No biggie, right? Wrong.

When her boyfriend’s sweet Instagram post accidentally spotlighted their oversight, her parents didn’t just apologize—they unleashed a storm of accusations, claiming she’d ruined a “surprise party” that smells fishier than week-old cake. Her mom’s Facebook rant and a flood of family texts only cranked up the drama. Reddit’s got opinions galore, but the real question is: was she wrong to clap back? Let’s unwrap this birthday mess.

‘AITA for embarrassing my parents for forgetting my birthday?’

I (F33) just had my birthday last week. The only problem is that no one in my family remembered. My maternal grandfather passed away about a month ago and my entire family (mom, dad, and 2 younger brothers) flew back to my mother’s home country for the funeral. I, unfortunately, could not go as I’ve only recently started a new job.

I wasn’t particularly close to my grandfather so I wasn’t too upset about staying behind. My family was gone for a total of 22 days and we FaceTimed and stayed in constant communication during their trip. I think it’s great that my mom got to reconnect with family and that my brothers got a chance to meet everyone.

They got back last Wednesday and have been readjusting due to jet lag since then (understandably). My birthday was last Friday (2 days) after they got back. TBH, I wasn’t expecting more than birthday wishes from everyone, but the day past without a word from anyone. Was I annoyed? Sure. But I wasn’t too upset. I’m not the biggest birthday person

I ended up having a nice birthday dinner with my boyfriend and a few friends. All hell broke loose Saturday afternoon when I got a really angry phone call from my dad. I guess my boyfriend did a special IG post for me and my brothers saw it and showed my parents. I had no idea he did this as he isn’t a big poster.

Anyway, I could hear my mom crying in the background while my dad laid into me saying that they were sorry they forgot, but not saying anything and then posting about it online was passive aggressive and mean. I told him that I wasn’t upset and that I didn’t think a 33rd birthday was that big a deal anyway. He said a few more things before abruptly ending the call.

I didn’t hear from my family the rest of the weekend. Today (Monday) I woke up to a bunch of notifications. I guess my mom did a Facebook post talking about ungrateful kids and how I ruined their surprise party for me and tagged me. My extended family seemed to agree that I was a jerk.  I’ve tried calling my mom,

but she didn’t answer so I posted my own reply and said “You guys forgot and no one wished me a happy birthday unless you count dad calling and yelling at me”. Both of my parents have been calling all morning, but I don’t want to take their calls yet. AITA? EDIT: I couldn’t post the update to this sub since it’s a bit long, but you can find it in my profile. Thank you for the birthday wishes!

Forgetting a birthday stings, but turning it into a public blame game? That’s next-level chaos. The OP’s family dropping the ball on her 33rd is understandable—grief and jet lag are no joke—but their reaction was less “oops, sorry” and more “how dare you exist online.” The OP didn’t post to shame anyone; her boyfriend’s innocent Instagram tribute did the talking. Her parents’ anger, though, feels like guilt dressed up as outrage, especially with that dubious “surprise party” claim.

From the OP’s perspective, she handled it gracefully—she wasn’t fishing for apologies and even downplayed the oversight. Her parents, however, flipped the script, painting her as the villain to save face. Mom’s Facebook post, dripping with vague resentment, screams deflection, and dragging extended family into it only fanned the flames. It’s a textbook case of emotions running hotter than a birthday candle.

For a fix, the OP could wait a beat, then reach out with a calm message: “I didn’t mean to upset anyone—I just felt hurt.” A family sit-down, maybe over coffee, could clear the air—grief and travel might’ve frayed their nerves. Her parents should own their mistake without spinning tall tales. Going forward, setting clearer expectations—like a group chat for big dates—could dodge future flops. Readers, how would you handle a family forgetting your day? Is a public post ever the answer?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit brought the candles and the shade for this birthday blunder, serving up takes as bold as a triple-layer cake. Here’s what the community had to say about the family’s forgetful fumble—brace for some zesty opinions: These Reddit reactions cut sharper than a cake knife, but do they slice to the truth, or are they just frosting over the real issue? One thing’s for sure: nobody’s buying that surprise party story.

Britt_Scherrer − NTA. Seems like they are trying to make you feel guilty for nothing.. Were they really planning a surprise birthday party as per your mom's Facebook post?

embopbopbopdoowop − NTA That their reaction is to get mad at and guilt trip *you* (for what? Having a boyfriend who makes a declaration of love on social media?!) to avoid having to feel any guilt or take any responsibility speaks volumes.. Surprise party? To quite venerated philosopher Cher Horowitz, AS IF.

Dschingis_Khaaaaan − NTA - It’s unfortunate but understandable that they may have forgotten given having to deal with your grandfathers passing, though you’d have every right to feel upset about them forgetting too. 

But boy are they AH for trying to play the victim for their mistake and get everyone to blame you.  If the truth of what they did shames them they only have themselves to blame.  You didn’t call them out, you defended yourself from their lies and manipulations.  Good for you and happy belated birthday. 

FitOrFat-1999 − NTA. They embarrassed themselves. How do you think they would have reacted if you \*had\* mentioned it?.

Fabulous_A_53 − NTA You didn’t post anything your boyfriend, quite sweetly, did. My guess if they feel guilty so they lashed out. Or they’re embarrassed because someone asked them why they weren’t in the pictures and they realised they forgot. Or both.

scout1982 − You need to take a biiiig step back from your family. Their reaction to forgetting YOUR birthday is unhinged.. NTA

Ill_Cricket1903 − Sweetie, there was no

LowBalance4404 − NTA and if anyone believes they really had a surprise party planned for you, I have a bridge in Brooklyn that I'd like to interest you in investing.

Chocolatecandybar_ − NTA, and are they mad because they forgot, or are they mad because they think people know they forgot?

Alarming_Physics4188 − So your BF posts an IG birthday pic, your parents who forgot, blame you for not reminding them.. Your dad, sure, I've met lots of dads over the years who barely remember their own birthday's. But your mom...I'm pretty sure she was there when you were born, I'm a guy, but I'm pretty sure that kind of a requirement.. NTA OP.

This birthday bust leaves us wondering: when does a simple oversight balloon into a family feud? The OP didn’t ask for a parade, just a nod to her day, but her family’s over-the-top reaction turned a small slip into a social media circus. A little honesty could’ve saved the cake, but now it’s crumbs. What would you do if your family forgot your birthday and then flipped the script? Share your thoughts below—have you ever had to navigate a family mix-up gone viral?

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *