Ultimatum Issued, Counseling Considered: Navigating Family Pressure and Marital Conflict.

The saga continues for the woman who found herself entangled in a web of lies to appease her husband’s traditional family. In the initial  post, she shared how she agreed to portray herself as a traditional housewife to facilitate their marriage, a promise that was tested when her career ambitions clashed with a rescheduled family visit. This led to her husband secretly considering divorce. For those who want to read the previous parts: Broken Promise, Broken Marriage? Wife’s Career Move Sparks Husband’s Divorce Threat.

The latest update reveals the immediate fallout from this revelation. Confronted with his private thoughts, the wife issued a firm ultimatum, and the couple has now taken a significant step towards addressing their deeply rooted issues. However, the path to resolution remains uncertain, with the complexities of family dynamics and the potential for further conflict still present.

‘I broke a promise with my husband and I think he wants to divorce me UPDATE?’

He says that that is off the table because his parents will cut both if us off and probably his brother. We will be fine if his parents cut us off but his brother won't be. We decided to see a marriage counselor. If we do end up divorcing, I will bring pay stubs and receipts and other evidence to his parents to show he was lying to them and they will cut him off.. Again, thank you everyone for your input. 

He says that that is off the table because his parents will cut both if us off and probably his brother. We will be fine if his parents cut us off but his brother won't be. We decided to see a marriage counselor. If we do end up divorcing, I will bring pay stubs and receipts and other evidence to his parents to show he was lying to them and they will cut him off.. Again, thank you everyone for your input. 

He says that that is off the table because his parents will cut both if us off and probably his brother. We will be fine if his parents cut us off but his brother won't be. We decided to see a marriage counselor. If we do end up divorcing, I will bring pay stubs and receipts and other evidence to his parents to show he was lying to them and they will cut him off.. Again, thank you everyone for your input. 

He says that that is off the table because his parents will cut both if us off and probably his brother. We will be fine if his parents cut us off but his brother won't be. We decided to see a marriage counselor. If we do end up divorcing, I will bring pay stubs and receipts and other evidence to his parents to show he was lying to them and they will cut him off.. Again, thank you everyone for your input. 

The couple’s decision to pursue marriage counseling represents a positive step towards addressing the significant challenges in their relationship. The wife’s ultimatum—honesty with his parents or separation—demonstrates a newfound assertiveness and a refusal to continue with a relationship built on deception, at least regarding his family. This indicates a potential shift in the power dynamic within their marriage, with the wife taking a more active role in defining the terms of their relationship.

According to Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist and author of “From Conflict to Resolution,” effective communication and a willingness to address underlying issues are crucial for successful marriage counseling. The fact that the husband agreed to counseling suggests a potential desire to salvage the marriage, although the motivations behind his agreement remain somewhat unclear. The counseling process will likely need to delve into the reasons behind the initial lie, the impact of cultural expectations, and the couple’s individual needs and expectations for their future together.

The issue of the husband’s financial dependence on his parents and the potential consequences for his brother adds another layer of complexity to the situation. This highlights the powerful influence of family dynamics and financial ties on individual choices within a marriage. As Dr. Harriet Lerner, mentioned in the previous analysis, emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, the husband will need to navigate his loyalty to his family with his commitment to his wife and their shared future.

Ultimately, the success of their marriage counseling will depend on the willingness of both partners to be honest, vulnerable, and committed to working through their issues. The wife’s contingency plan to reveal the truth to her in-laws if they divorce underscores the fragility of their current situation and her determination to ensure accountability. This update offers a glimmer of hope, but the couple still faces a long and potentially difficult journey toward building a more honest and sustainable relationship.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit community’s response to the update remained largely supportive of the wife, with many commenters expressing cautious optimism about the couple’s decision to seek counseling. However, concerns about the husband’s motivations and the underlying issues in their relationship persisted. The entanglement of the husband’s brother’s financial situation with the couple’s relationship continued to baffle and frustrate commenters. Here’s a snapshot of the Reddit reactions:

DawnShakhar − "...that is off the table because his parents will cut both if us off and probably his brother". No, that is not off the table. That is your husband being manipulative. Why should his parents cut off his brother because your husband lied to them? And why should that be your concern? From now on, your husband doesn't get to call the shots any more. You make your own decisions, based on what is right for you, and carry them out.

DawnShakhar − "...that is off the table because his parents will cut both if us off and probably his brother". No, that is not off the table. That is your husband being manipulative. Why should his parents cut off his brother because your husband lied to them? And why should that be your concern? From now on, your husband doesn't get to call the shots any more. You make your own decisions, based on what is right for you, and carry them out.

DawnShakhar − "...that is off the table because his parents will cut both if us off and probably his brother". No, that is not off the table. That is your husband being manipulative. Why should his parents cut off his brother because your husband lied to them? And why should that be your concern? From now on, your husband doesn't get to call the shots any more. You make your own decisions, based on what is right for you, and carry them out.

DawnShakhar − "...that is off the table because his parents will cut both if us off and probably his brother". No, that is not off the table. That is your husband being manipulative. Why should his parents cut off his brother because your husband lied to them? And why should that be your concern? From now on, your husband doesn't get to call the shots any more. You make your own decisions, based on what is right for you, and carry them out.

DawnShakhar − "...that is off the table because his parents will cut both if us off and probably his brother". No, that is not off the table. That is your husband being manipulative. Why should his parents cut off his brother because your husband lied to them? And why should that be your concern? From now on, your husband doesn't get to call the shots any more. You make your own decisions, based on what is right for you, and carry them out.

DawnShakhar − "...that is off the table because his parents will cut both if us off and probably his brother". No, that is not off the table. That is your husband being manipulative. Why should his parents cut off his brother because your husband lied to them? And why should that be your concern? From now on, your husband doesn't get to call the shots any more. You make your own decisions, based on what is right for you, and carry them out.

DawnShakhar − "...that is off the table because his parents will cut both if us off and probably his brother". No, that is not off the table. That is your husband being manipulative. Why should his parents cut off his brother because your husband lied to them? And why should that be your concern? From now on, your husband doesn't get to call the shots any more. You make your own decisions, based on what is right for you, and carry them out.

DawnShakhar − "...that is off the table because his parents will cut both if us off and probably his brother". No, that is not off the table. That is your husband being manipulative. Why should his parents cut off his brother because your husband lied to them? And why should that be your concern? From now on, your husband doesn't get to call the shots any more. You make your own decisions, based on what is right for you, and carry them out.

DawnShakhar − "...that is off the table because his parents will cut both if us off and probably his brother". No, that is not off the table. That is your husband being manipulative. Why should his parents cut off his brother because your husband lied to them? And why should that be your concern? From now on, your husband doesn't get to call the shots any more. You make your own decisions, based on what is right for you, and carry them out.

DawnShakhar − "...that is off the table because his parents will cut both if us off and probably his brother". No, that is not off the table. That is your husband being manipulative. Why should his parents cut off his brother because your husband lied to them? And why should that be your concern? From now on, your husband doesn't get to call the shots any more. You make your own decisions, based on what is right for you, and carry them out.

DawnShakhar − "...that is off the table because his parents will cut both if us off and probably his brother". No, that is not off the table. That is your husband being manipulative. Why should his parents cut off his brother because your husband lied to them? And why should that be your concern? From now on, your husband doesn't get to call the shots any more. You make your own decisions, based on what is right for you, and carry them out.

DawnShakhar − "...that is off the table because his parents will cut both if us off and probably his brother". No, that is not off the table. That is your husband being manipulative. Why should his parents cut off his brother because your husband lied to them? And why should that be your concern? From now on, your husband doesn't get to call the shots any more. You make your own decisions, based on what is right for you, and carry them out.

DawnShakhar − "...that is off the table because his parents will cut both if us off and probably his brother". No, that is not off the table. That is your husband being manipulative. Why should his parents cut off his brother because your husband lied to them? And why should that be your concern? From now on, your husband doesn't get to call the shots any more. You make your own decisions, based on what is right for you, and carry them out.

This latest update in the “pretend housewife” saga reveals a pivotal moment as the couple agrees to seek professional help. The wife’s firm stance has seemingly prompted a move towards addressing the long-standing issues in their marriage, including the foundational lie and the pressures of cultural expectations and family dynamics.

However, the complexities of their situation, particularly the financial dependencies and the husband’s reluctance to be fully honest with his parents, suggest that the path to resolution will be challenging. What are your thoughts on this update? Do you believe marriage counseling will be effective for this couple? What are the biggest hurdles they will need to overcome?

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