[30M] left our first date after he saw acne I didn’t hide on my [28F] dating profile.

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The restaurant buzzed with soft chatter and clinking glasses, but for one woman, the night took a sharp turn before the appetizers arrived. A 28-year-old Redditor, excited for her first Tinder date, walked in with confidence, her hormonal acne a little more pronounced than in her recent photos. She’d been upfront in her profile, showcasing unfiltered images of herself on both clear and flare-up days. Yet, within minutes, her date accused her of deception and stormed out, leaving her stunned and questioning her approach to dating.

This isn’t just a tale of a bad date—it’s a window into the pressures of modern romance, where every imperfection can feel like a dealbreaker. Her story, shared on Reddit, struck a chord, igniting discussions about authenticity, expectations, and the unspoken rules of disclosing “flaws.” As she sat there, the sting of rejection mingled with confusion: was she wrong for not giving a heads-up about her skin?

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‘[30M] left our first date after he saw acne I didn’t hide on my [28F] dating profile.’

I have started using tinder to meet new people. I matched with a guy and we messaged and even had a phone call and hit it off very well. And we decided to meet for dinner. I have hormonal acne. I wash my face and found a routine that works the best so far. I get it on my jaw and chin. It sucks and it’s painful and I do what I can for it.

It’s a side effect of a medication I take. I know I have it and it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. But in my profile, I had multiple pictures of me on a range of my best days (most of them because I’m most likely to like those pictures) to me with visible acne. I don’t wear makeup or use filters, so I’m not hiding it, just my best pictures might not show it when it’s at its worst.

I also sent the guy real time photos. I was in my good state. Acne was very minimal and not inflamed. We set up a date in a week. And during that time, I had flare up. I didn’t think to mention it. It wasn’t that bad, it was red inflamed spots, but not huge and no white heads.

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Well I showed up for the date and within a few minutes he said he couldn’t do it. He said I misrepresented myself even though my photos had the same level of acne in them. He said I should’ve told him. He said I led him on. I don’t think I did, but he went on and on. I’ve never felt this way before.. Is this expected to disclosed when dating?

First dates are like stepping onto a stage, and for this woman, the spotlight landed on her skin. The clash between her date’s expectations and her reality highlights a broader issue: how much do we owe others in presenting our “true” selves? She faced a man who saw her acne as a betrayal, while she viewed it as a normal part of being human.

Her transparency—unfiltered photos showing her acne’s range—clashes with his rigid standards. Relationship expert Dr. Alexandra Solomon, in her book Loving Bravely (source), notes, “Authenticity in dating means showing up as you are, not as you think someone wants you to be.” This woman embodied that, yet her date’s reaction suggests he prioritized a curated image over reality. His accusation of misrepresentation stems from discomfort with natural fluctuations, a stance that dismisses the messiness of human bodies.

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This situation reflects a societal obsession with perfection, particularly for women. A 2021 study from the American Academy of Dermatology (source) found that 45% of women over 25 report acne affecting their self-esteem, often amplified by dating pressures. Her date’s exit reinforces this stigma, implying flaws must be flagged beforehand.

Dr. Solomon advises embracing vulnerability: “Sharing who you are, imperfections included, builds trust.” For the OP, continuing to present herself authentically is key. She might consider addressing acne casually in future conversations to filter out shallow matches early. Readers, take note: prioritizing partners who value your humanity over polished perfection sets the stage for genuine connection.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of sass and support that’s peak internet. Here’s what they had to say about her dating debacle:

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SteelToeSnow − well, dodged a bullet there, lol. no, you don't need to disclose your medical s**t with anyone you don't want to. that's nobody's business but yours and your doctor.. you had a variety of photos in all sorts of stages, the photos were real and not 'touched up'. it's his fault for not actually looking at them (or your face in them) if he has a problem with acne.

RattusRattus − That you have skin and it does skin things? He basically made your medical condition about him. And generally, most adults don't need a PSA that you are a human and will not look exactly like you photos; it's likely you will be wearing different clothes and your hair won't be exactly the same.

disgraceful_hag − This reminds me of another post where someone's boyfriend got mad at her and called her disgusting for farting in bed. Our bodies do things. It gets old and grey eventually. We get sick. We burp and smell. No, you do not have to disclose any of this normal stuff. You dodged a bullet. A good one would not mind one bit how human you are.

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maverick5811 − It won't matter, when you meet the right person. As much as that sounds like a ridiculous trope. My wife, around your age, has dealt with acne since puberty, lots of different attempts at cures with no solutions she's been happy with so far. It still bothers her a lot, but, it's not a thing that I really notice.

She's the most beautiful person I know, on good skin days and bad ones, though typically she's the one who has to point out when she's having a bad skin day, because she's worrying about it before I notice. Love is the best 'filter' there is, and I can say that confidently as someone who's always been a bit of a shallow/physical attraction is very important guy.

All of the things that make her who she is are what make me love her and make her beautiful, I don't really note her acne as anything noteworthy, though I know it's there enough to really bother her.   It sucks that the date didn't go well, that's never ever fun, especially when they bluntly say it's a looks thing, and when you're excited to meet someone, but at least you were able to get to know he wasn't a good fit for you before wasting any more time on him. 

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Practical-Sky-7466 − Well, isn’t he just a precious crock of s**t… Listen, you were gorgeous before the date. You were gorgeous during the date. And you will be gorgeous for all the days to follow.. Don’t worry about that scumbag. Just keep being stunning and the rest will fall into place….. xo

BAT_1986 − Is this really something women have to deal with? I would feel like s**t if I got a pimple I didn’t have previously when my tinder profile was made….and then my date walks out because i “misrepresented myself physically.” That’s ridiculous.

Willdiealonewithcats − Bullet dodged. At your age I had a long term relationship with a very handsome but hairy man that involved regularly spreading his cheeks, untangling his ass pubes that would dread and pull on his skin and then trimming them so he wouldn't get ass stank at the gym.

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That's love and commitment. A man who will run at the first sight of hormonal acne is not worth the hours of nose and hair trimming and helping get rid of the big old people blackheads they can't reach on their back or behind their ears.

It sucks being rejected by someone. Instead thank him in your mind for contributing to the dating horror stories you laugh about with friends. There are men who literally d**p women because they are too successful in their career.

And those women would feel that same pang of r**ection that you are feeling now, even though it was basically the dating equivalent of shooting yourself in the face to reject someone for being too successful/pretty/funny etc. it still hurts to be rejected by an i**ot.

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DaxxyDreams − Related posts? This guy left his date within 5 minutes after meeting due to her having a different appearance in her photos.. 

surfandtriplebogeys − I’m sorry that’s terrible, this guy doesn’t seem like someone you would want to date anyway.. Me and all my siblings were on Roaccutane growing up, it helped with us.

-Kalos − Mfs are really becoming professionals at cockblocking themselves

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These Redditors rallied behind her, cheering her honesty and roasting her date’s superficiality. But do their fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just relishing the drama? One thing’s clear: this story has sparked a lively debate about dating etiquette.

This woman’s experience is a stark reminder that dating can be a minefield of expectations and snap judgments. She walked into that restaurant with authenticity, only to face rejection for something as human as acne. Her story invites us to reflect on what we value in partners—polished facades or real, flawed people. As she moves forward, her confidence in being herself will likely lead her to someone who sees her beauty, flare-ups and all. What would you do if you faced a similar situation? Share your thoughts below!

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