19M gave my girlfriend 19F off one year flowers and I regret it. How do I go about it?

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Imagine the nervous excitement of a 19-year-old, clutching a bouquet of flowers, hoping to brighten his girlfriend’s rough day. That’s where our story begins with Jake, a young man eager to show love to his partner of one year, Mia. But instead of smiles, his thoughtful gesture was met with sharp criticism—she called the flowers cheap and wrong, leaving Jake crushed and second-guessing his efforts. His Reddit post lays bare the sting of rejection after a kind act.

This isn’t just about a bouquet gone wrong; it’s about navigating young love, emotional maturity, and the weight of unexpected ingratitude. Jake’s tearful regret, hidden from Mia, pulls us into a relatable tale of vulnerability. As we dive into his story, we’re left wondering: how do you recover when a heartfelt gesture flops, and what does it say about a relationship’s future?

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’19M gave my girlfriend 19F off one year flowers and I regret it. How do I go about it?’

So im (19M) and my gf is (19F) have been together a year now. She has been unwell and stressed recently so I decided to take her out to help her destress and feel loved. She wasnt in a good mood and told me she wasn't so I thought perhaps some flowers would help but this is where the problem arises, this was a last second idea.

And so she has favourite flowers which I looked for but couldnt find so I just bought her the ones I thought looked nicest but as I surprise her with it she just tells me how I didnt get her favourite ones, how Its cheap and she doesnt want.

I stayed quiet and tried to get rid off them by leaving it in a store but that didnt work. I brought it up with her after the date when im home and she just argues. Icl shedded a few tears out off embarrassment and feel s**tty at home but she doesnt know . Any advice?

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Edit: she doesnt know I cried and I dont plan on telling her. I dont wanna look like a loser infront off her. I just cried because it was my first time getting flowers for her and it wasnt the reaction I expected. I didnt expect anything but like insults is kinda yk.

Jake’s flower mishap reveals a deeper issue: how partners handle kindness shapes a relationship’s core. Mia’s harsh reaction wasn’t just about flowers—it signaled a lack of emotional reciprocity. Relationship therapist Esther Perel notes, “Love is an act of mutual vulnerability; dismissing a partner’s effort shuts down connection” (source: Esther Perel’s Blog). Mia’s critique, especially during stress, left Jake feeling unseen, a red flag at their young age.

This situation reflects broader challenges in young relationships. A 2022 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 60% of young adults struggle with expressing gratitude during conflict, often escalating tension (source: JSPR). Mia’s stress doesn’t excuse her response, but it may explain her snap judgment. Jake’s silence about his tears, driven by fear of looking “weak,” further highlights societal pressures on young men.

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Mia’s focus on the “wrong” flowers suggests unmet expectations, possibly tied to their one-year milestone. But her delivery—insulting rather than communicative—missed a chance to build trust. Jake deserves a partner who values his intent, even if the execution falters.

Advice: Jake should calmly tell Mia how her words hurt, emphasizing his good intentions. If she dismisses him again, he may need to reassess the relationship’s health. For future gestures, he can ask about her preferences to avoid missteps.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit didn’t hold back, tossing out fiery advice and witty shade on Jake’s flower drama. Here’s a sampling of the community’s bold takes:

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Posterbomber − D**p this girl right now. Get rid of her. You did something nice and she abused you for it. She must go right now.. Text her a good-bye and block her

strikes-twice − Your girlfriend was either in a REALLY bad mood or is simply ungrateful. I hope she was just reacting in the moment and later apologizes to you, because treating someone who did something nice for you like s**t is not okay.. Please tell her how you feel OP, and if she doesn't like it... it wasn't meant to be.

One-Patient-3417 − Rule of thumb on Reddit - most commenters will recommend breaking up over basically anything. I personally feel that behavior is a red flag, and 1 year is usually the point of power struggle where red flags start to appear in full force. If it's part of a pattern, then you might want to reevaluate if you're compatible with this person, as no one deserves to be in a relationship where you feel like you're walking on ice all the time.

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If this is completely out of the blue, she might be going through something else that you'll find out eventually and hopefully she'll apologize and things will go back to normal. I would give it a couple days so that you have more information to evaluate if this relationship really will make you happy long term.

Professor_Bats − The first flowers my now husband got me were carnations. I HATE carnations, but I still keep them dried and in a box because they were the first flowers a partner had ever gotten me.. He does not know I hate carnations. I will never tell him I hate carnations.. Because it is genuinely the thought the counts.. Is it nice when someone remembers?

Yes.. But it's even nicer when someone just does something sweet for you without being asked.. She may be stressed out, but she may also be showing you her true self. You're both young and have a lot of growing to do as people. But she may not be mature enough for a committed relationship yet.. You shouldn't be made to feel the need to cry for performing an act of kindness.

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potenttechnicality − You need to have a conversation where you tell her that 'your favorite flowers aren't in season and weren't available anywhere. I nevertheless tried to do something that might make you feel a little better. In response, you were rude and abusive.

I was really hurt and I guarantee you that however bad your day was, my evening was worse as a result of your behavior. I need to understand if you think kicking me in the emotional nuts was no big deal and you don't think I'm owed an apology.'

[Reddit User] − No more flowers for her then, I guess. I've *never* responded to a lovely gift like this, no matter how terrible I've felt in my life, and I've had mountains of health issues including ones that directly impact my mood.. What an ungrateful little brat.. You deserve better.

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People_of_Prodigy442 − You need to be straight up with her and let her know that you do not appreciate that, and will not stand for it. It’s ok for her to be in a rough state of mind, but for you to try to make it better just for it to backfire like that, is very unfair toward you.

I would explain to her your side and let her know that she needs to be more appreciative and recognize that you are trying to make it better. She also needs to recognize that the two of you should be a team. If she continues to act like that I would leave, you deserve better.

Resident-Staff-1218 − You did a really nice thing with good intentions because she was feeling low and you wanted to cheer her up, and she was mean and ungrateful. But... I'm wondering if because it was a one year anniversary, maybe she was expecting something with a little more effort to mark the occasion, and you said it was just a last minute thought... What did she do for your one year anniversary though?. Just talk to her. Communication is key

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patrickko1 − a random stranger from the street would have been more grateful, and THAT should tell you something. if the flowers are still with you bring them to your mama

Tacos-and-zonkeys − It isn't your job to manage her emotional life.. If she sucks to be around, then don't be around her.. (And don't buy her gifts to change her mood.)

These Redditors brought passion, but do their breakup calls or pleas for communication hit the mark? One thing’s clear: Jake’s story struck a chord.

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Jake’s flower flop is a reminder that love, especially young love, is a messy learning curve. Mia’s harsh words turned a sweet gesture into a moment of doubt, but it’s also a chance for growth—if they communicate. Should Jake speak up or walk away? Drop your thoughts below—have you ever had a thoughtful gift backfire? What would you do in Jake’s shoes?

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